Oct 18, 2011


Wet, autumn air smells of you
for a moment
I forget.
The silence after your constant
chatter halts me,
I remember again
your absence.

You haunted me all day
to punish
or exonerate
Loss, like sadness,
but more penetrating,
reminiscent of past sadness.
Self induced confusion:
freedom from burden
often feels cumbersome
I assume at least at first.

It wasn't your fault
you were that way all along,
it was in the reaction that
sent you away
and you are gone now.
My tears replace your voice.

Jul 14, 2011


Cross legged
I chant Om,
underneath the elephant’s foot,
silenced by the presence
of a revelation.
Summer drips all around me,
but this grey weight
shields me from the rain.
My heavy, ominous umbrella.

I contemplate to run-
to stand up, stretch, be free.
My elephant remains strong
anticipating movement
beneath his toes.
Weight looming
like an uneasy secret.

Here I must meditate,
here I seek the peace
of salvation.

Jun 9, 2011

The Exploration of a Familiar Sky

She maps the constellations
of his skin, discovering triangles,
one dipper against a tan sky.
An arm to any other
may not be this exquisite.

It is not the warmth of the arm
wrapped so tightly around
waist or ribs, nor the way
in which it cradles
her peacefully resting head,
not the strength
held within trained muscle.

Her eyelashes dance
along it’s curve, lips
follow, exploring inch by inch.
If only he could feel
the depth of love
her lips tenderly press
against his skin. Constellations
traced with half closed eyes.

The stars of this world
rival the darkest night’s
distant lights. Her fingers
find the smallest points,
graze each one, counting
how far they’ve come
to meet her here.

Jun 3, 2011

Making Peace With Screams

Stuffing myself
to quiet the screaming
I consume
a more painful noise,
knowing it will
momentarily ease
the ache in my ears,
I run to my release,
flushing it all
brings silence.

When everything becomes
a single yell that begs
to be let out, I realize
it is the silence that I seek
that will kill me.

My secret leaks
through the closed door
to the ears of disbelievers.
Though it is
an endless echo
in my head, I find
no one willing
to decipher its source.

Left alone
to dull the sounds,
the silence persistently calls
my name, I have to stop
my self destruction,
learn to live
in a world of screams.

May 3, 2011

A Daughter's Burden

I am
by the meaning that he gave
to my name.
Linking me forever to my father’s past,
my father’s actions,
My nature is like any daughter’s,
Daddy’s Little Girl.
Yet he blames me for being the daughter
I have become.
I freed my father
from similar condemnation
but he is the one who gave me the key
to gates so grand.
What daughter wouldn’t
set her daddy free?

My name strikes fear
in new mother’s ears,
as they pray
for new life’s purity.
My name alone conjures
punishment, repentance,
hopes of forgiveness.
Daddy named me Sin
and all it meant to me was daughter.
My condemner made it famous.
Its meaning sits
so heavy on my shoulders.

Feb 3, 2011

Sonnet for an Unexpected Love

With you and you alone I am set free
If others feel the same I dare not ask
Another love I shall not plan to seek
The thought of losing you, a loathsome task
It is in your sole arms that I am home
How our paths never crossed, I only guess
Vulnerable: a side I’ve never shown
When in your open palm my heart I press

You hold me even when I am not near
I dance for you behind closed bedroom doors
In dreams your image is the one most clear
And I pray every night to see one more

It sounds cliché but you’re my wish come true
So I am hopelessly in love with you